Some history

I feel like I should give some history of my situation before I begin. I met my husband almost 14 years ago in college. He was in his last year and I was at the beginning of my sophmore year. Anyway, I was only 21 and just went googoo over him. Most of it was physical, and I think that that is how a lot of us think at that age. I never really remember ever "falling in love" with him. In fact, I am a believer that there is no such thing in my life as "true love", because the one time I ever experienced it, I was only 17 and it was one sided.
Anyway, once I met him, I spent every waking hour with him, but my mom hated him on her first impression. He was rude to her and didn't take the time to get to know her before I went away with him for the weekend. It was a quick introduction from the car window, but he was worried because we were already late. (I went away with him after only knowing him 1 week, a stupid decision).
So, to make a very long story a little shorter, he managed to offend my new dorm roommate as soon as she moved in, so she moved out. Then a friend of mine came to visit me from out of state, and he had to be with us the entire time and did not let me just hang out with her. She felt very offended and didn't even want to be there. These should all have been red flags to me, but I was so enamoured by him that I didn't see them.
I don't remember too much more from the college days, just that he was always with me. We did break up about a year into the relationship because he said something offensive to me in front of the kids I nannied for and I just left. Then, somehow, I got back with him. Over the next 8 years, yes 8, we broke up and got back together about 3 or 4 times. He dated other people during those times, as did I, but we always ended up back together. I really don't know why I did, but he was a huge manipulator.
Then we decided that we were going to get married about halfway through our 8th year of dating. I had always told my mom that I would never marry him because he was too controlling and so forth, but I did anyway. Go figure. So we did get married in 2005. I do have to admit that the week of our wedding was the best week I ever spent with him because he didn't berate me or tell me I was fat or anything. We were having way too much fun to fight during that time. Then the honeymoon hit and he was horrible again. We went on a cruise, and all he did the whole time was point out other women laying out that were hotter than I was, or he complained about the humidity, or he threw a fit about the fact that we parked in the expensive lot at the airport because we were late for our flight.
So now, 14 years later, here I am. Still married to him, but realizing after all this time that everything he has been saying to me is wrong and harmful, and I just need to get out.