Busy, busy

I haven't written lately because I have been working a ton. I am literally gone from 7:30 AM until about 10 PM, or later every day. Things are ok this week because I haven't seen him much. Except on Sunday night when he wanted me to help him put up the new coffe table we bought. Which of course was an ordeal. He was getting pissed at me because I wasn't holding the side leg hard enough for him to get the screw in, so he kicked me and told me that was why I lost my teaching job was because I was incompetent. Then he tried to stab me in the leg with the screw driver when he thought I still wasn't holding it right. Then after all this stupid crap he starts telling me how I am fat and I need to get in shape and on and on and on, because I am weak. I tell you, I felt so defeated and so like I just wanted to crawl in a corner and die. When he does this stupid stuff, it justifies it for me and helps me understand that this is why I am trying to leave. I hate feeling so weak and vulnerable. I should never feel like I would be better off dead than alive, and that is how he makes me feel. I HATE FEELING THIS WAY!!! Plus, I have been working all week, like I said, and he tells me that I don't have a "real" job and that the yard looks like crap, and that the laundry is piling up. I haven't even been home, and then when I do get home he expects me to make him dinner or rub his back. I don't know how much longer I can stand it, I really don't. I may be trying to get out sooner rather than later.