5 days and counting

I have 5 days left!! I am so scared though. I am really hoping this whole thing goes as planned. I have slowly been taking stuff to my new place and it is almost clean. I can't even imagine going any time without asking for permission to do something, or worrying about what he might think about what I spent money on. I am hoping I lose some of the white hair that has grown in over the past 5 years. The anxiousness has started though and I am feeling guitly about lying to him and telling him yes when he asks me if I love him. I hate telling him that, but if I hesitate he gets all hurt and suicidal. I don't know what he will do without me, but I really don't care. He has been controlling almost every aspect of my life for 14 years, and it is time to end it. I am so tired of fighting and feeling like trash and stupid all the time. I will probably either have no energy left next week or I will have a ton. Good thing I took a week off of work. I will need to rest for sure.