It's sad what you realize

You know, you would think that I would have realized this earlier in my relationship with him, but I didn't. I just realized on Monday that he has hardly ever said the words "I'm sorry" to me. He flipped out on Monday because he wasn't getting his questions answered from the unemployment office, regarding my claim, and so of course it was my fault. He was screaming and yelling at me and telling me that I won't make it as a nurse because I am too stupid, and so on. Then he proceeded to threaten to kick me, (which seems to be his preference). So about an hour later, he acted like nothing ever happened and wanted sex, which of course I was not going to give him. He never once apologized for his behavior earlier that day, and just said that he hasn't been himself since I lost my job. Then I thought about it and realized that when he does have his fits, he tends to tell me something along the lines of "what I did was not right, but you have to help me not react that way". He never, ever says "I'm sorry". You know why? Because he feels like he shouldn't be sorry because he thinks he is justified in how he treats me. I am a possession to him, not a person, so he tends to think that it doesn't matter how I feel or what affects me. It is only what affects him. He is mad about my job loss because it took money out of his pocket and in his mind, messed up his change of career plans. It has nothing to do with the injustice they did to me at all. He could care less about wether I am a teacher, he just wants me to make money. That is why he is pushing me to become a nurse anesthetist. He never considered once that I may not want to do that, but be a different kind of nurse. Then he uses his friends opinions to justify his own by telling me that they think it would be stupid for me to do anything else. I can't believe I have lived with such a selfish person for so long. Anyway, I am going to a support group for this right now, so hopefully I can write more on a different day.